The hard questions kids ask about God usually come at the worst moments: at bedtime, on the car ride home, in the checkout line. This page is here for those moments.

On October 15, 2026, parents and grandparents gathered at Immanuel Lutheran Church for Help for the Hard Questions. We promised that every question card would get an answer. Here they are, along with questions our youth group students (grades 5–12) asked the night before, and the questions parents most often hear. Every answer uses the same three moves, with Bible verses and words from Luther’s Small Catechism. Bookmark this page. We’ll keep adding to it.

These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 (ESV)

How to use this page: find your child’s question below and tap it open. Each one shows what your child may really be asking, a question to ask back, one true thing to say, Bible verses to read together and a line from the Small Catechism. You don’t need to say all of it. Pick the one true thing and start there.

Is God real? Is the Bible true?

Whether any of this is true, from little ones and teenagers alike. Tap a question below to open it.

Can you see God? Why can’t I tell God is there, when I know He’s talking to me?

Asked by kids and parents

Really asking	Is God really there? Can I trust what I feel?
1 · Ask back	“When do you feel like God is talking to you?”
2 · One true thing	“We can’t see God with our eyes yet, but we can see Him in Jesus. God really does talk to us in the Bible, and one day we’ll see Him face to face.”
3 · Find out together	John 14:9 “…Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.” Romans 10:17 “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 13:12 “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face…”
Small Catechism	Apostles’ Creed, Third Article: “…the Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel, enlightened me with His gifts, sanctified and kept me in the true faith.”
A note for parents	Feelings come and go. Point your child to where God has promised to speak: His Word, Baptism and the Lord’s Supper.

How do we know God is real?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Can I trust what you’ve told me?
1 · Ask back	“What made you start wondering about that?”
2 · One true thing	“God doesn’t make us guess. He talks to us in the Bible, and He came to us in Jesus, whom people saw and touched.”
3 · Find out together	1 John 1:1 “That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we looked upon and have touched with our hands, concerning the word of life—” Romans 10:17 “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”
Small Catechism	Creed, Third Article: “…the Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel, enlightened me with His gifts, sanctified and kept me in the true faith.”

Who made God? Where did God come from?

Asked by kids and parents

Really asking	How big is God?
1 · Ask back	“Ooh, good one. What do you think?”
2 · One true thing	“Nobody made God. He has always been, and that’s part of what makes Him God.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 90:2 “Before the mountains were brought forth, or ever you had formed the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God.”
Small Catechism	Apostles’ Creed: “I believe in God, the Father Almighty, Maker of heaven and earth.”

Why Christianity?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Why this faith and not my friend’s? Is it just because my family does it?
1 · Ask back	“Good question. What got you thinking about it? Do you have friends who believe something different?”
2 · One true thing	“Every other religion tells you what you must do to reach God. In Jesus, God comes down to reach you, and He did it all.”
3 · Find out together	John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”” Ephesians 2:8–9 “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.”
Small Catechism	Creed, Second Article: Jesus “has redeemed me… not with gold or silver, but with His holy, precious blood and with His innocent suffering and death.”
A note for parents	Answer without putting down a friend’s faith. The difference is grace: gift, not ladder.

How do I know the Bible hasn’t been changed over time?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Can I trust what I’m reading?
1 · Ask back	“Where did you hear that it might have been changed?”
2 · One true thing	“We have thousands of ancient handwritten copies, and they say the same thing. God has kept His Word.”
3 · Find out together	Isaiah 40:8 “The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” 2 Peter 1:21 “For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.”
Small Catechism	Third Commandment: “…we do not despise preaching and His Word, but hold it sacred and gladly hear and learn it.”
A note for parents	Concrete example: the Dead Sea Scrolls (found 1947) had a copy of Isaiah about 1,000 years older than any known before, and it matched almost word for word. Thousands of New Testament manuscripts survive, some within a few generations of the apostles.

What if religion and God are just delusions of the human race?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Is this real, or just something people tell themselves to feel better?
1 · Ask back	“That’s a real question. Is it hard to believe sometimes? What made you think of it?”
2 · One true thing	“Christianity stands on something that happened in history: Jesus rose from the dead and hundreds of people saw Him. If that’s false, faith is useless. It isn’t false.”
3 · Find out together	1 Corinthians 15:3–6, 14 “…that he was raised on the third day… he appeared to more than five hundred brothers at one time… And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain.” Luke 1:3–4 “…to write an orderly account for you… that you may have certainty concerning the things you have been taught.”
Small Catechism	Creed, Third Article: “I believe that I cannot by my own reason or strength believe in Jesus Christ… but the Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel.”
A note for parents	Thank them for saying it out loud. Doubt that’s spoken can be answered; doubt that’s hidden grows. Point them to the evidence and to the Word, where the Holy Spirit works.

What if I’m not sure I believe anymore?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Will you still love me? Am I out?
1 · Ask back	“I’m really glad you told me. What’s making you unsure?”
2 · One true thing	“Faith isn’t how sure you feel. It’s Jesus holding on to you, and He doesn’t let go.”
3 · Find out together	Mark 9:24 “Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”” John 10:28 “I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.”
Small Catechism	Creed, Third Article: “I believe that I cannot by my own reason or strength believe in Jesus Christ, my Lord, or come to Him; but the Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel…”
A note for parents	The worst response is panic. The best is “I’m really glad you told me,” then keep bringing them to where the Word is. Doubt that gets spoken can be answered. Doubt that stays hidden grows.

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God and me

God’s love, prayer, forgiveness and being chosen.

Does God love me and see me? Is God in my heart?

Asked by kids and parents

Really asking	Do I matter? Am I alone?
1 · Ask back	“What made you wonder about that today?”
2 · One true thing	“Yes. God sees you all the time, and He loves you so much He sent Jesus for you. When you were baptized, He put His name on you, and His Holy Spirit lives in you.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 139:1–3 “O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.” Isaiah 43:1 “…Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” Galatians 4:6 “And because you are sons, God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, “Abba! Father!””
Small Catechism	Apostles’ Creed, Second Article: Jesus has redeemed me “that I may be His own and live under Him in His kingdom.”

I prayed and it didn’t happen. Does God even hear me?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Does God ignore me?
1 · Ask back	“What did you pray for? How are you feeling about it?”
2 · One true thing	“God always hears you. Sometimes He says yes, sometimes no, sometimes wait, but He never ignores you.”
3 · Find out together	Matthew 7:11 “If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” 2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.””
Small Catechism	Lord’s Prayer, Introduction: “…so that with all boldness and confidence we may ask Him as dear children ask their dear father.”

Does God still love me when I’m bad?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Could anything make you stop loving me?
1 · Ask back	“Did something happen today?”
2 · One true thing	“Yes, He does. When you were baptized, God put His name on you, and He doesn’t take it back.”
3 · Find out together	1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” Romans 8:38–39 “…nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Small Catechism	Baptism, Fourth Part: “…a new man should daily emerge and arise to live before God in righteousness and purity forever.”
A note for parents	Not baptized? “God loves you so much He sent Jesus for you.”

Did God really die for me?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Am I included? Am I saved? Am I a saved sinner?
1 · Ask back	“What makes you wonder if it’s for you?”
2 · One true thing	“Yes, for you by name. In Baptism He made it yours. You are a sinner and saved, both at the same time.”
3 · Find out together	Galatians 2:20 “…the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.” Romans 5:8 “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Small Catechism	Creed, Second Article: “…who has redeemed me, a lost and condemned person, purchased and won me from all sins…”
A note for parents	Lutheran gift to give here: simul justus et peccator, saint and sinner at once. Assurance rests on Christ’s promise, not on feelings.

Why did God pick me?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Am I special to God? Did I earn it?
1 · Ask back	“What made you think about being picked?”
2 · One true thing	“Not because you earned it. Because He loves you. He chose you before you were born, and in Baptism He put His name on you.”
3 · Find out together	Ephesians 1:4–5 “…he chose us in him before the foundation of the world… In love he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ.” John 15:16 “You did not choose me, but I chose you…”
Small Catechism	Creed, Third Article: “…the Holy Spirit has called me by the Gospel, enlightened me with His gifts…”
A note for parents	Answer the comfort, not the debate. God’s choosing is personal, for you, and it’s for the whole church.

Why did God go through all that hurt and pain for us?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Am I worth it? Why would God bother? Why did God create us at all?
1 · Ask back	“What do you think? Why would someone go through that for somebody?”
2 · One true thing	“Because He loves you more than you can imagine, and there was no other way to bring you back. Jesus thought you were worth it.”
3 · Find out together	Romans 5:8 “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Hebrews 12:2 “…Jesus… who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame…”
Small Catechism	Creed, Second Article: “…with His holy, precious blood and with His innocent suffering and death, that I may be His own and live under Him in His kingdom…”
A note for parents	This question goes straight to the heart of the Gospel. The “joy set before him” is us.

Why did God make me like this?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Am I a mistake?
1 · Ask back	“Did someone say something to you?”
2 · One true thing	“God made you on purpose, and He doesn’t make mistakes about who you are.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 139:13–14 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” John 9:3 “Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.””
Small Catechism	Creed, First Article: “…He has given me my body and soul, eyes, ears, and all my members, my reason and all my senses, and still takes care of them.”

Did you ever do bad stuff when you were a kid?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Are you the real thing? Can I be honest with you?
1 · Ask back	“What made you want to know?”
2 · One true thing	“Yes. I’ve sinned too, and I still need Jesus every day. That’s why I’m so glad He forgives.”
3 · Find out together	1 John 1:8 “If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.” Romans 3:23–24 “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus…”
Small Catechism	Confession: “Before God we should plead guilty of all sins, even those we are not aware of, as we do in the Lord’s Prayer…”
A note for parents	Honesty doesn’t mean details. You can say “yes, and I regret it” without telling the story. Lying here costs you the teen years.

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Heaven, hell and death

Often asked after a funeral, a sick pet or a friend’s comment at school.

Where did Grandpa go? How do you know Grandpa is in heaven?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Am I safe? Will you leave me?
1 · Ask back	“What made you think about Grandpa today?”
2 · One true thing	“Jesus died and came back alive, and He promises to raise everyone who belongs to Him. I plan to be here a long, long time.”
3 · Find out together	John 11:25–26 “Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?”” 1 Thessalonians 4:14 “For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.”
Small Catechism	Creed, Third Article: “On the Last Day He will raise me and all the dead, and give eternal life to me and all believers in Christ.”
A note for parents	Not sure about a loved one’s faith? It’s OK to say: “Only God sees a person’s heart. We trust him to God, who is more loving and fair than we are.”

Where did our baby go? Will we see the baby in heaven? (after a miscarriage)

A question grieving families ask

Really asking	Is the baby with God? Is it my fault? Is Mom going to be OK?
1 · Ask back	“What have you been thinking about the baby?” Then listen. Kids often worry quietly that something they did caused it.
2 · One true thing	“God knew our baby before we ever did, and He loves the baby even more than we do. We trust our baby to Jesus, who loves little children. It’s OK to be sad. Jesus is sad with us.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 139:16 “Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.” Mark 10:14 “…Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God.” 2 Samuel 12:23 “…I shall go to him, but he will not return to me.” Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Small Catechism	Apostles’ Creed, Third Article: “On the Last Day He will raise me and all the dead, and give eternal life to me and all believers in Christ.”
A note for parents	Scripture doesn’t answer every question about babies who die before birth, and it’s honest to say so. What it does show is a God of deep mercy who knew this child and does not forget. Your child also needs to hear plainly: nothing you or they did caused this. Grief can come back in waves, for you and for your child. Please don’t carry it alone. Your pastor would be honored to pray with you.

Will my dog go to heaven?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Does God care about what I love?
1 · Ask back	“What do you miss most about her?”
2 · One true thing	“The Bible doesn’t tell us exactly. It does tell us God made every animal, loves what He made, and is going to make everything new.”
3 · Find out together	Genesis 1:25 “And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds… And God saw that it was good.” Romans 8:21 “…the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.” Isaiah 11:6 “The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the young goat… and a little child shall lead them.”
Small Catechism	Creed, First Article: “I believe that God has made me and all creatures…”

Is Uncle ___ in heaven? (after a suicide, or someone who never went to church)

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Is he lost? Could that happen to someone I love?
1 · Ask back	“What have you been wondering about him?”
2 · One true thing	“Only God can see inside a person’s heart. We trust him to God, who is more loving and fair than we are.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Romans 8:38–39 “For I am sure that neither death nor life… nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Small Catechism	Creed, Second Article: “…who has redeemed me, a lost and condemned person, purchased and won me from all sins, from death, and from the power of the devil…”
A note for parents	Don’t declare anyone saved or lost. Suicide is not “the sin God can’t forgive”; our hope rests on Christ, not on a person’s last moment. Grief like this is heavy, so please call your pastor. If you or your child is having thoughts of suicide, get help right away: in the U.S., call or text 988; elsewhere, contact local emergency services.

Does heaven really exist?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Is there something after this? Will I see people again?
1 · Ask back	“What made you wonder about heaven?”
2 · One true thing	“Yes. Jesus went ahead to get a place ready and promised to bring us there. On the Last Day He makes everything new.”
3 · Find out together	John 14:2–3 “In my Father’s house are many rooms… I go to prepare a place for you… I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also.” Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more…”
Small Catechism	Creed, Third Article: “…the resurrection of the body, and the life everlasting.”
A note for parents	Often asked after a loss. Ask back before answering.

Does hell really exist?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	If God loves everyone and forgives everyone, then who would go to hell?
1 · Ask back	“What made you think about it? Are you worried about someone?”
2 · One true thing	“Yes. Jesus talked about it, and He came so no one has to go there. God offers forgiveness to everyone; hell is for those who turn it down.”
3 · Find out together	John 3:16–17 “For God so loved the world… For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.” 2 Peter 3:9 “The Lord… is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.”
Small Catechism	Creed, Second Article: Jesus has “purchased and won me from all sins, from death, and from the power of the devil.”
A note for parents	Say it plainly once, then spend the rest of the answer on Jesus. Don’t use hell to scare a child into faith.

Is my friend who isn’t a Christian going to hell?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Is my friend in danger? Is it my job to fix it?
1 · Ask back	“What made you worry about your friend?”
2 · One true thing	“Jesus is the only way to the Father, and God wants your friend to know Him too. We don’t decide who goes where. We pray for them and keep being their friend.”
3 · Find out together	John 14:6 “Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.”” 1 Timothy 2:3–4 “…God our Savior, who desires all people to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
Small Catechism	Lord’s Prayer, Second Petition: “God’s kingdom comes when our heavenly Father gives us His Holy Spirit, so that by His grace we believe His holy Word…”
A note for parents	Say the truth once and plainly, then spend the rest of the answer on love for the neighbor, and on praying for the friend by name.

Why do we lose people we love?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Will I lose more people? Will you leave?
1 · Ask back	“Are you thinking about someone?”
2 · One true thing	“Death was never part of God’s good plan; sin brought it in. Jesus beat death, so for those who belong to Him, goodbye isn’t forever.”
3 · Find out together	1 Thessalonians 4:13–14 “…that you may not grieve as others do who have no hope. For since we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so, through Jesus, God will bring with him those who have fallen asleep.” John 11:25 “Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live.””
Small Catechism	Creed, Third Article: “On the Last Day He will raise me and all the dead…”
A note for parents	It’s OK to cry with your child. Jesus wept at His friend’s grave (John 11:35).

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When life hurts

Why bad things happen, and where God is when they do.

Why did God let that happen? Why does everything bad happen to me?

Asked by parents and teenagers

Really asking	Is God good? Is He paying attention?
1 · Ask back	“What part of it is bothering you most?”
2 · One true thing	“I don’t know why. I do know God hates it too, and Jesus came to make it right for good.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 13:1, 5 “How long, O LORD? Will you forget me forever?… But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.” Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore…”
Small Catechism	Lord’s Prayer, Seventh Petition: “…that our Father in heaven would rescue us from every evil of body and soul… and graciously take us from this valley of sorrow to Himself in heaven.”

Why do good people get sick?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Is someone I love going to be OK? Is God punishing them?
1 · Ask back	“Are you thinking about someone who’s sick?”
2 · One true thing	“Sickness isn’t a punishment. We live in a world that sin broke, so bodies get sick. Jesus cares about sick people, and one day He’ll make everything well for good.”
3 · Find out together	John 9:3 “Jesus answered, “It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the works of God might be displayed in him.”” Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Revelation 21:4 “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore…”
Small Catechism	Lord’s Prayer, Seventh Petition: “…that our Father in heaven would rescue us from every evil of body and soul…”
A note for parents	Pray for the sick person together, by name, right then. It shows your child what to do with worry.

Could a shooting happen at my school?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Am I safe right now?
1 · Ask back	“What did you hear? Who told you about it?”
2 · One true thing	“Lots of grown-ups work hard every day to keep you safe, and God is with you every minute, even when scary things happen.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 4:8 “In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” Psalm 46:1 “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
Small Catechism	Creed, First Article: “He defends me against all danger and guards and protects me from all evil.”
A note for parents	Don’t promise it will never happen. Kids hear the difference. Promise what’s true: who is with them, and what the grown-ups are doing. Then turn off the news.

If God created everything, did He create sin and evil?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Is God good? Did He plan for things to go wrong?
1 · Ask back	“What got you thinking about that?”
2 · One true thing	“No. Everything God made was very good. Evil came when His creatures turned away from Him. God didn’t make it, and He’s defeating it.”
3 · Find out together	Genesis 1:31 “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” 1 John 3:8 “…The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.”
Small Catechism	Lord’s Prayer, Seventh Petition: “…that our Father in heaven would rescue us from every evil of body and soul…”
A note for parents	A related question: “If God knows everything, why did He let the devil do what he did?” Honest answer: we don’t know all of God’s reasons, but we know His heart from the cross. “I don’t know” is OK here.

Why are we so broken?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Is something wrong with me? Can it be fixed?
1 · Ask back	“Is something feeling broken right now?”
2 · One true thing	“Sin broke every one of us, inside and out. That’s exactly why Jesus came: not for people who have it together, but to fix what’s broken.”
3 · Find out together	Mark 2:17 “…Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” Psalm 34:18 “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.”
Small Catechism	Confession: “…the forgiveness from the pastor as from God Himself, not doubting, but firmly believing that by it our sins are forgiven before God in heaven.”
A note for parents	This may be personal pain, not theology. Listen first. Bring in your pastor and another trusted adult if a kid is hurting.

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Creation and the Bible

Dinosaurs, Jonah, science class and other wonderings.

How do dinosaurs fit into the Bible?

Asked by students, grades 5–12

Really asking	Do the Bible and what I learn in science class fit together?
1 · Ask back	“What did you learn about them? What do you think?”
2 · One true thing	“God made every creature, dinosaurs included. The Bible tells us who made the world and why; it doesn’t list every animal.”
3 · Find out together	Genesis 1:24–25, 31 “And God made the beasts of the earth according to their kinds… And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.” Colossians 1:16 “For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible…” Job 38:4 “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell me, if you have understanding.” Job 40:15–19 “Behold, Behemoth, which I made as I made you… He is the first of the works of God.”
Small Catechism	Creed, First Article: “I believe that God has made me and all creatures.”
A note for parents	Keep it at “God made them all.” You don’t have to settle every science debate to give your child a true answer about who made the world. Kids love reading Job 40 together: God shows Job Behemoth, a huge, powerful creature He made. Some Christians think it may describe a dinosaur; others think a hippo or an elephant. Either way, God points to it to show His wisdom and power, and Job 38 reminds all of us that God was there and we weren’t.

Did Jonah really get swallowed by a fish?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Is the Bible just stories?
1 · Ask back	“What did your teacher say? What do you think about it?”
2 · One true thing	“The Bible tells us what God did. Science studies what God made. When they seem to disagree, we trust God’s Word and keep learning.”
3 · Find out together	2 Timothy 3:16 “All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness…” Hebrews 11:3 “By faith we understand that the universe was created by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things that are visible.”
Small Catechism	Third Commandment: “We should fear and love God so that we do not despise preaching and His Word, but hold it sacred and gladly hear and learn it.”

Why did God invent spelling? English doesn’t make sense!

Asked by a parent (with a smile)

Really asking	Sometimes just a fun question, and that’s OK.
1 · Ask back	“Which word got you today?”
2 · One true thing	“God gave people words. The first job He gave Adam was naming the animals. The confusing spelling is our fault, not God’s. You can blame the tower of Babel!”
3 · Find out together	Genesis 2:19 “…and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.” Genesis 11:9 “Therefore its name was called Babel, because there the LORD confused the language of all the earth…”
Small Catechism	Apostles’ Creed, First Article: God “has given me my body and soul, eyes, ears, and all my members, my reason and all my senses, and still takes care of them.”
A note for parents	Not every question is heavy. Laughing together over a funny one makes it easier for your child to bring you a hard one.

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Family and church

Divorce, absent parents, Baptism and the Lord’s Supper.

Is it my fault? Why don’t you and Mommy live together anymore?

A question children in many families ask

Really asking	Did I break this? Will you leave me too?
1 · Ask back	“What makes you think it might be your fault?”
2 · One true thing	“This is not your fault. Nothing you did caused it. We both love you, and that will not change.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 27:10 “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in.” Hebrews 13:5 “…for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.””
Small Catechism	Creed, First Article: “He richly and daily provides me with all that I need to support this body and life.”
A note for parents	Your child needs safety and the Gospel, not an explanation of the marriage. Never speak badly of the other parent; your child carries half of them.

Why doesn’t my real dad want me? Why did God let my dad leave us?

A question children in many families ask

Really asking	Is something wrong with me? Will I be left again?
1 · Ask back	“What made you think about that today?”
2 · One true thing	“His leaving was about him, not about you. Nothing about you made him go. You are wanted. I want you, and God wanted you before you were born.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 27:10 “For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the LORD will take me in.” Psalm 68:5 “Father of the fatherless and protector of widows is God in his holy habitation.” Ephesians 1:5 “…he predestined us for adoption to himself as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will…”
Small Catechism	Lord’s Prayer, Introduction: “…He is our true Father and we are His true children…” Baptism: God puts His name on the child.
A note for parents	Tell the story early, a little at a time, and never invent a kinder story than the facts. Don’t speak badly of the father; the child carries half of him. When it’s heavy, talk with your pastor privately, and consider a Christian counselor who works with adoptive and blended families.

Why don’t we go to church?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Does God want us there? Do you?
1 · Ask back	“What did you hear about church at school?”
2 · One true thing	“That’s a really good question. Church is where God gives us His gifts: His Word and His forgiveness. Want to go this Sunday?”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 122:1 “I was glad when they said to me, “Let us go to the house of the LORD!”” Hebrews 10:24–25 “…not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another…”
Small Catechism	Third Commandment: “…hold it sacred and gladly hear and learn it.”
A note for parents	This is the question many families feel caught by. The answer is an invitation, not a defense.

Can I be baptized?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Am I in God’s family?
1 · Ask back	“What do you know about baptism?”
2 · One true thing	“God wants you in His family, and Baptism is how He puts His name on you. Let’s ask our pastor about it.”
3 · Find out together	Acts 2:38–39 “…be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins… For the promise is for you and for your children…” Matthew 28:19 “Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit…”
Small Catechism	Baptism, Second Part: “It works forgiveness of sins, rescues from death and the devil, and gives eternal salvation to all who believe this…”
A note for parents	If your child hasn’t been baptized, this is a wonderful question to bring to your pastor together.

Why can’t I have the bread at church?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	Am I left out?
1 · Ask back	“What did you notice the grown-ups doing?”
2 · One true thing	“Communion is Jesus’ own body and blood. We learn about it first so we know what we’re receiving. Jesus is still yours right now.”
3 · Find out together	1 Corinthians 11:23–24 “…the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.””
Small Catechism	The Lord’s Supper: “It is the true body and blood of our Lord Jesus Christ under the bread and wine…” Worthy is the one “who has faith in these words: ‘Given and shed for you for the forgiveness of sins.'”

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Growing up: bodies, marriage and who I am

Answer what they asked, at their age, with correct words, and be the person they bring the next question to.

Where do babies come from?

Asked by kids and parents

Really asking	Is it OK to ask you this?
1 · Ask back	“What have you heard about it so far?”
2 · One true thing	“God made a wonderful way for a mom and dad to make a baby together, and He made it for marriage. I’m glad you asked me first.”
3 · Find out together	Genesis 1:27–28 “So God created man in his own image… male and female he created them. And God blessed them…” Psalm 139:13 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.”
Small Catechism	Sixth Commandment: “…lead a sexually pure and decent life in what we say and do…”
A note for parents	Answer only what they asked, at their age, with correct words. The real win is being the person they bring the next question to, instead of a phone.

What is a virgin? (while reading the Christmas story)

Asked by a third grader

Really asking	Usually a word question. Answer the word.
1 · Ask back	“Good question. What do you think it means?”
2 · One true thing	“It means Mary wasn’t married yet and had never been with a husband in the way that makes a baby. So Jesus didn’t have a human dad. God did a miracle, and Jesus is God’s own Son.”
3 · Find out together	Luke 1:34–35 “And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?” And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God.””
Small Catechism	Apostles’ Creed, Second Article: “I believe that Jesus Christ, true God, begotten of the Father from eternity, and also true man, born of the Virgin Mary, is my Lord.”
A note for parents	Mary asked the angel almost the same question. Read Luke 1 together during Advent.

Can two boys get married?

A question parents often hear

Really asking	What’s right? Is my friend OK? Can I still be their friend?
1 · Ask back	“What did your friend say about it?”
2 · One true thing	“God made marriage to be one man and one woman for life. God loves your friend and their family, and so do we. Be a really good friend.”
3 · Find out together	Genesis 2:24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Mark 12:31 “The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”
Small Catechism	Sixth Commandment: “…husband and wife love and honor each other.” Eighth Commandment: “…defend him, speak well of him, and explain everything in the kindest way.”
A note for parents	Say the truth once, kindly and plainly, then spend the rest of the answer on love for the neighbor. Your child may have a friend with two moms or two dads. That family is to be loved and welcomed, not avoided.

“Am I gay?” “Who am I, really?”

Questions about identity that kids and teens ask

Really asking	Who am I? Will you still love me if I tell you what I’m feeling?
1 · Ask back	Calmly: “I’m really glad you asked me. What made you wonder about that?” Often kids are repeating a word from school or online, or testing whether you’ll still love them.
2 · One true thing	“You are God’s child. He made you on purpose, and in Baptism He gave you a name nothing can take away. Feelings and labels don’t get the last word about who you are. God does. And you can always tell me anything.”
3 · Find out together	Psalm 139:13–14 “For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Genesis 1:27 “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.” Isaiah 43:1 “…Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.”
Small Catechism	Apostles’ Creed, First Article: “I believe that God has made me and all creatures; that He has given me my body and soul… and still takes care of them.”
A note for parents	Stay calm and keep the door open; your reaction matters more than your words. Answer the love question first. If this keeps coming up, please talk with your pastor privately. We’re glad to help too.

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Talk With Us

Some questions are too big for a web page, or too close to home. You don’t have to sort them out alone. Whether you’re an Immanuel member, a Martin Luther School family or a neighbor, we’re glad to sit down with you. Reading this from somewhere else? Your own pastor is the best person to start with, and you’re always welcome to email us.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Do I have to be Lutheran to use these answers?

No. Most of these answers come straight from the Bible and are shared by Christians everywhere. Where Lutherans say something distinctive, like what God gives in Baptism and the Lord’s Supper, we say so plainly. Curious? Read what Lutherans believe.

What if my child asks something I really can’t answer?

Say so, and make it an invitation: “I don’t know. Let’s find out together.” Then follow through within a week. Look in the Small Catechism or the Bible together, or ask your pastor, Jason, Mollie or Pastor Chris. That’s Move 3, and it teaches your child that faith is something we keep learning.

How old should my child be before we talk about these things?

When they ask, they’re ready for an answer at their level. Start with one short, true sentence. Younger children usually want to know they’re safe and loved; teenagers want to know you’ll take them seriously. Either way, the goal is to be the person they bring the next question to.

Where can I get a Small Catechism?

Call the church office at (417) 624-0333 or stop by Immanuel at 2616 S Connecticut Ave in Joplin for a free copy. You can also read Luther’s Small Catechism free online at catechism.cph.org.

Will there be another Help for the Hard Questions evening?

We hope so. Watch the Immanuel events calendar and the Martin Luther School newsletter, and send us the questions you’d like us to cover next.

Can my family visit Immanuel or Martin Luther School?

Yes, and we’d love that. Everyone is welcome at Sunday worship, members or not, churchgoers or not. Read what to expect on your first Sunday. Martin Luther School welcomes families from every church background and from none, Early Childhood through 8th grade. Schedule a school tour or call the school at (417) 624-1403.

More at Immanuel Lutheran

• Kids & Families at Immanuel
• Youth Ministry, grades 5–12
• Taking Faith Home Family Devotions
• Martin Luther School
• Sunday Worship Services
• What We Believe
• What to Expect at Immanuel
• What Is Advent?

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Help for the Hard Questions is a Youth & Family Ministry resource of Immanuel Lutheran Church and Martin Luther School. Scripture quotations are from the ESV® Bible. Catechism quotations are from Luther’s Small Catechism © 2017 Concordia Publishing House. Immanuel Lutheran Church is a congregation of the Lutheran Church—Missouri Synod (LCMS). 2616 S Connecticut Ave, Joplin, MO 64804 | (417) 624-0333